Hindu Indian Wedding Ceremony

• Hindu Wedding Ceremonies In Italy 

This article rediscovers Hindu wedding ceremonies in Italy .North and South Indian wedding day ceremonies and their customs.

There are also local Hindu rituals and history included. In between are short topics like the Vedic view of a wedding (vivaha) and inspirational sastric quotes.

Long live the groom and the bride!

• INSPIRATION

Sri Caitanya instructed Nityananda Avadhuta to marry. By that plan, He wanted to liberate everybody with the love of Godhead. Nityananda Prabhu was surprised but still obeyed the Lord’s desire to find a bride in Bengal.

»Sri Nityananda, before going to marry Jahnava Devi and Vasudha Devi, asked Lord Caitanya,

” O Lord, please tell Me in truth when will I see You again?”…

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu answered,

” Whenever You wish to see Me, You’ll see Me. Whenever You dance in kirtana, or My mother cooks for Me, I’ll be there without a doubt … I’m telling You the Truth that I will certainly appear in Your house in the near future …”

Afterward, Sri Nityananda fell unconscious, and Sri Caitanya took His dust … Next day, they performed their sadhana in the morning. Finally, they took the darshan of Sri Jagannatha.« Summarized by Sri Nityananda Caritamrta. (Vrindavana, 2000, p. 190-203).

Afterward, Sri Nitai visited Suryadas and informed him about his desire to wed his Jahnava. Pandit was very much focused on jyotis calculation, varnasrama rules, and the proper family caste system to provide a good match for his daughters. For a while, being blind, he couldn’t recognize the Lord and His plan. The next day, Suryadas Pandit accepted Nityananda’s wish for marriage and started with pre-wedding arrangements. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, transcendental, and opulent. A few days later, the Lord also married Vasudha. Nitai was very pleased by the vivaha ceremony. Consequently, all the guests were extremely happy as well. The Lord is pleased when people act according to His plan. This results in everybody’s joy and satisfaction.

• A SWEET WEDDING (MADHURAM VIVAHA), SIMPLE DEFINITION, WITH GOD IN THE CENTER

The wedding is a legal, personal, and social event. A couple wants to confirm the intimate relationship by law and celebrate it with family and friends. IT FEELS SO NATURAL TO LOVE SOMEBODY and share life. Affection, service, and commitment to the Lord (and guru) are essential for a functional vaisnava marriage.

People love their parents, siblings, friends, God, demigods, spouses, children, even animals, plants, or any other living beings.

There is a deep need in each person to be loved as well. To be loved helps one to function healthily and properly in just any relationship.

Here comes yet another reason: when can a marriage fully succeed?

It happens when a wedded couple invites God into their relationship.

There is a letter from Srila Prabhupada, written to his disciple Tattiriya Dasi on 15th September 1974. In summary, he advised her to cooperate with the spouse. They should both pray to Krsna in their heart to help them. A vaisnava is holding His lotus feet because Krsna loves His devotees, provided they serve in devotion, with true faith. When absorbed in devotional service, the Lord reveals all the intelligence to His devotees.

After the engagement, the vivaha ceremony needs to be executed. After all, the couple wants to commemorate the commitment of partnership, love, and cooperation.

Women especially enjoy planning a wedding. They can use all their imagination to make this day glorious. It will be filled with smiles, guests, and creative vivah decorations.

For a man, it’s natural to look after the financial coverings. His role seems to be more grounded, realistic, and supportive towards the bride.

A woman is by nature softer and weaker. That’s why, in the Vedic tradition, she’s always been taken good care of at all stages of life. Her protectors are father, husband, eldest son, guru, and the Lord.

For example, the saintly Mirabai has chosen Krsna as her only protector.

A vaisnava, therefore, likes to follow in the footsteps of Mirabai and remembers the Lord by praying, »Sri Krsna pahi mam, raksa mam, krpa koro, tavasmi.« It means, »O Krsna, please save me, protect me, be compassionate, I’m Yours.«

This prayer has been compiled from different Vraja’s local songs, inspired by Sacinandana Swami. The prayer expresses the devotee’s dependence on Sri Krsna.

• INDIAN WEDDINGS, PARENTS, JYOTIS ASTROLOGER, AUSPICIOUS TIMES

The Vedic scriptures suggest that parents choose their spouse for their child. It’s called vaivahika, the prearranged marriage. They would engage an experienced astrologer of Jyotis, who would make a compatibility chart for a groom and bride. Both should match in character and have similar inclinations for daily activities. As it is said in Srimad-Bhagavatam (Text 9, Chapter 22, Third Canto, p. 195),

»My daughter is the sister of Priyavrata and Uttanapada. She is seeking a suitable husband in terms of age, character, and good qualities.« (Prabhupada, 2015, p. 195).

The astrologer would also calculate the most auspicious time for engagement, wedding, and all other auspicious ceremonies included in the vivaha procedure. Even the Pandavas considered it in ancient times.

It’s in Srimad-Bhagavatam, Text 26, Chapter 14, seventh Canto, p. 728, »O King Yudhisthira, at the time prescribed for reformatory ritualistic ceremonies for one’s self, one’s wife or one’s children, or during funeral ceremonies and annual death ceremonies, one must perform the auspicious ceremonies mentioned above in order to flourish in fruitive activities.« (Prabhupada, 2015, p. 728).

Srila Prabhupada wrote in his purport in (Srimad-Bhagavatam, Text 23, Chapter 18, Ninth Canto, p. 501) about astrological anuloma, pratiloma, abhiruci, yotaka. The compatibility of the bride and groom must match for the wedding to happen at all. The match was based on their natures and character. Money, good looking, and love feelings were not the factors of criteria like it’s the case in modern times. The parents used jyotis to find an appropriate spouse, an equal fit in all respects. (Prabhupada, 2015, p. 501).

It was usually done in early childhood, before age 10 years. The old Vedic tradition would recommend the time after puberty as an appropriate time when the young bride would move to her husband’s home. In modern times, the legal age of 18 is naturally considered for such marital matters and affairs.

Some people don’t consider astrological calculations for vivah. They usually get married when they decide to get married. The wedding (vivaha) ceremony is mainly the first official step in the household (grhastha) life. The couple will most probably remember the wedding again and again, for the whole life span.

That’s why IT FEELS SO NATURAL TO MAKE A WEDDING DAY UNIQUE.

It will remain an eternal memory of a loving connection encouraged by family, the Lord, the guru, and friends. Maybe that’s why so much planning, time, and money is invested into a vivaha day celebration.

And what happens after the wedding day?

There might be a few post-vivaha ceremonies coming, but generally, it’s time to rest and go on a honeymoon.

For vaisnavas, this might be an arranged travel to a favorite Vedic Hindu temple or any other asram (spiritual center). There, they can serve together for the pleasure of vaisnavas, guru, and their Lordships.

•   TYPICAL INDIAN WEDDING PROCEDURES         

It all starts with pre-wedding rites, such as signalizing the coming event with rituals around the house, so neighbors are also informed indirectly. That would be setting up a bambus stick, placing a pot with grains, or an oil lamp in front of the house.

Next is the famous worship of Mother Earth with mud taken from the home garden. It’s rather a ladies’ rite, resulting in Gauri puja. The final stage of pre-wedding rituals begins with the home parties. One day before the wedding, the bride celebrates with her female friends and relatives in her parents’ house. The groom does the same in his home with male friends and family. The bride would most certainly choose the Henna samskara and cover her hands and feet accordingly and artfully.

The wedding day might begin early in the morning with sincere sadhana, stotras, mantras, and prayers. It can be performed either in front of the home altar or by visiting the local temple for Divine blessings. Rice mandalas with many nice decorations or smearing turmeric (haldi) on the body are open options as per desire.

The first loud event could be the big procession in the street (a grand one). Commonly, it’s followed by a couple’s engagement custom. The main actors are the groom and the bride’s father or a close male relative. Jokingly, the groom might want to escape for a pilgrimage to Kasi. Somebody needs to bring him back and convince him of the bride’s best qualities and character. Next, the cloth between the couple can be tied or knotted. It can be postponed to a later time at saptapadi.

Ganes puja is most liked in early rituals, usually performed before the procession. However, the Vaisnava couples, instead, love to worship Nrsimhadeva for their ultimate protection before starting any important activity. Ganes is a great servant of Sri Nrsimha.

The next great move of nearly wedded ones is directed to the flourishing and shining wedding pavilion (mandap). This vivah platform is full of flowers, lights, ornaments, and decorative details. There, the groom and guests expect the beautiful bride to show up, usually accompanied by her female friends.

Some couples choose a modest vivaha ceremony in the temple. Especially if they can’t earn enough for a living. Also, in a simple temple vivaha, the best woman’s friends bring the bride to the assembly of a groom and all the waiting guests. That would be the moment when the groom sees her for the first time on this vivaha day, full of surprises.

But first, her veil or cadar needs to be removed. In each case, the couple repeatedly asks for asirvadah (blessings) from guests and deities. Taking special seats (asanas) might be very opulent in the pavilions, especially for the groom. He’s been treated nearly like a king on the wedding day. The priest (pandit, pujari, guru) guides all the samskaras.

The couple begins with purificatory acaman (in the temple) or honey drink at other places. It’s time for the sacred fire (Agni) and many stotras, mantras, and circumambulating the holy wedding fire, to which Lord Visnu is invited. The father passes his daughter over to the groom; their clothes are knotted and tied, symbolizing their fixed connection until the moment of death and beyond.

The wife gets a holy thread or necklace from her new husband. Thereafter, it’s time for vows and steps around the fire. It is called saptapadi. All good wishes rest on these two rituals. Afterward, the groom puts kumkum on the bride’s hair, and both exchange beautiful and perfumed garlands and eventually rings as well. The couple has a variety of options like Surya-Narayana worship, rice offerings, fresh-married couples feeding each other with the Lord’s prasad, specific rites of relatives, giving promises, and exchanging presents.

Most probably, the concluding part of the wedding would be chanting mantras for eternal love, anxiety-free mind, harmonious life, mutual dharmic duties, and spiritual advancement. When the night falls, the couple will look in the sky, seeking blessings of Dhruva Loka, or the star Arundhati, which is attached to the star Vasistha.

The next touching event is the bride leaving her family (vidai) and turning in the direction of the groom’s family. The step through their home door is the physical beginning of a new life, especially for the bride (grah praves). It can be truly a soft-hearted welcome reception rite. Her new (groom’s) family, the in-laws, make all the effort to make the wife of their son happy.

Maybe the couple finds a few moments for a short rest. Usually, the guests still require some friendly entertainment. It’s time for traditionally vegetarian food, folk songs, social games, and local music with traditional instruments like mrdangas, vina, karatalas, harmonium, and nadasvaram.

Devotees might prefer singing the mantras and hymns, praising the glories of the Lord and Divine Couple. It all ends up with post-wedding rituals and eventually a honeymoon to recover life’s energies (prana).

• NORTH INDIAN WEDDING DAY WITH LOCAL DIVERSITIES

The cities of Northern India geographically include Lucknow, Pune, Jaipur, Delhi, Vrindavana, Ahmedabad, Calcutta, Kanpur, Surat, and Mumbai. There are areas like Kasmir, Punjab, Gujarat, Goa, Uttarprades, West Bengal, Jharkand, Haryana, Bihar, Maharastra, Rajastan, Himacal Prades, Jammu, Ladakh, Candigarh, etc. It is not easy to draw a straight line between the North and South of India.

In the Uttar Prades, it is more likely that during the wedding, there will be folk songs and dances and rasa-lila performances, the main roles of which belong to Radha and Krsna, the eternal Divine Couple. They are the center of life for all vaisnavas around the globe and even the universe. The wedded couple would always desire Their blessings and presence in the marriage.

There are a few ceremonies, most common in all the northern regions. First happens roka rite (engagement), sagai (tilak, cunni cadana), gaya holud (paste of turmeric, water, oil, mandha, tel ban), in the south it’s haldi.

A day prior, it gets started, and two ceremonies are executed parallel. In the bride’s home, it’s the mehendi (henna, mehandi) rite, where an artist paints the hands and feet of the bride with henna. It takes hours to make it nicely. Afterwards, there comes the sangit (jaggo) custom. It’s hours of fun, singing, eating, dancing. A future bride invites her female friends and family. It can last for the whole night.

A similar thing is going on in the house, where a future husband involves male friends and relatives in a relaxed mood of having a good time before marrying.

Different regions might name the same rituals slightly differently. In this article, one or two additional synonyms are therefore mentioned in the round brackets (for example, sangit, jaggo, or sangeet).

Wedding day rituals in the North are many; here are listed a few of them.

Generally, the main wedding event in the North would start rather later, in the afternoon or evening hours. Celebrations are loud, colorful, and quite crowded. Everybody is mostly in a good mood, nicely dressed in new garments. Many bring gifts for the wedded couple.

The vaisnavas in the North regularly perform strict daily sadhana. In the morning on vivah day, the future wife, husband, and respective parents from both sides would take special care of praying sincerely to the spiritual master and Deities at home or in a nearby temple. The couple endures a content, grave, and deep marriage. Parents mainly join them in prayers and help the couple in all other to-do’s.

• Barat (ghodi cadna, doli, lavani, bhangra) is a special event. The future husband is showing his wealth to relatives of his future wife. He comes surrounded by his friends and parents to his future wife. It happens in a street procession, guided by a mare, horse, or vehicle. It’s a grand occasion, followed by food, fireworks, dance, jokes, and music. The groom gets on the animal like a king. The vehicles and animals are extraordinarily decorated in various colors, including flowers and other decorating items.

Prior to that, some perform the sehra bandi rite, where the groom gets a unique turban on his head. It’s his pride to be as handsome and wealthy as possible for his new bride.

• Milni (svagat, milani) is yet another ritual where the bride’s parents officially accept the future husband and parents. The moment is full of any kind of presents, like a plate (thali), sometimes also with flower garlands (jaimala, varmala). From this moment on, both families are connected for years to come.

• Kanyadan (kanya vivah, dharmic kanyadan, kanyadan sahayak) is usually in the hearts of many the most touching moment of a vivaha. The father gives his daughter, the fresh bride, over to her » soon-to-be « groom. This act represents a transfer of protection and responsibility for the bride. Now, her nearly husband is in charge of her.

• Some Hindu traditions incorporate Surya namaskar (worshipping sun-demigod) in the ceremony. The vaisnavas instead worship the Surya-Narayana, the Supreme Personality of the Godhead.

• Mangalsutra (har pur, mangal granthi, or cuda ) means the moment when the husband puts a necklace on his new wife, sometimes followed by rings. Next, come flowers in the form of garlands if it wasn’t executed earlier. Both put flowers around their necks a few times. The necklace represents her as a real wife now. Later, she’ll get kunkun on her hair to complete this symbolic wedding rite. She’s no longer single!

• All over the globe, the (sat) phere (saptapadi) ceremony has been executed in many Indian communities, keeping their Vedic tradition alive, even when living abroad. The couple offers respect to the deities and Agni (a fire demigod). The vaisnavas invite Lord Visnu to the sacrificial fire. The wedded ones circumambulate the fire a few times (3x, 4x, 7x, it depends on local tradition) and make marriage sankalpa (7 vows). They promise each other eternal affection, help, and respect. To remain faithful in a marriage is automatically expected.

• A very typical ritual is a sindur dan (sindur bindi or tilak). It is a ceremony with kumkum (kunkun, vermillion), which is red dust (mixed powder). The husband places it in the middle of his wife’s hair. They are finally married. She belongs to him now. And to the Lord even more.

• Some people might call it the center of the vivah. It’s asirvad time. Now, the wife and husband ask all the guests, guru, and Deities for their best wishes and constant support (subastakam, blessings). The ritual concludes with a rain of flowers at the couple, or rice. The purnahuti rite includes putting rice into a fire. Some local customs also place coconut into the sacrificial fire (where Agni hosts Sri Visnu).

If the wedding takes place in a temple, at this moment, the crowd moves to the pavilion. Many times, the main rites happen at the mandap. It is a very profoundly decorated place; it’s a platform where the main part of the vivah is happening.

Generally, this is the moment for a relaxed celebration. Folk music, vegetarian feast, dance, maha-mantra, kirtan, bhajan, gifts exchange, social games, etc. Nearly anything that the wife and husband desire will be fulfilled now.

Finally, post-wedding rituals will be executed. First one is vidai (bidai, doli). Now, the wife leaves her old home with her parents and directs herself to her husband’s house.

Yet another rite waits for her there. It’s grha praves. She enters her new house, the home of her husband or his parents. In the following days, there would be the last ceremony, called reception. That means she (the newly wedded wife) would be shown to the relatives of her husband.

Usually, the husband’s parents introduce their daughter-in-law to the wider relatives and friends circles. Everything must be followed with a great vegetarian feast and festivity, and again, many blessings come along.

• SOME LOCAL VIVAH CUSTOMS IN THE NORTH

*In Bihar, during the kanyadan rite, the bride’s mother joins her husband. They give their daughter together to the young groom. Sometimes, the bride is kidnapped, but rather rarely. It happened a long time ago to Rukmini when Krsna first saved her and later married her.

*In Punjab weddings (vivah, sadi), there are typical songs like dholna balle balle sung all over. It’s a unique local custom. This region is a mixture of Hindu, Sikh, Mughal, and British influences. Another rite here is palla dastakna. The wife’s family (bride) knocks on the husband’s door (groom).

For the wife, this is the farewell from her parents and the entry into the family life of her husband. The welcome rituals are usually rich and friendly. For her, this can be rather an emotional moment. Here is also practiced the gidda (bhandra, dhol) dance, typical for Punjab, like its drums.

*In Uttar Prades, the role of the bride’s brother in sadi (vivah) is very important. He supports his sister in every aspect. For the ladies, this region is known for beautiful artistic bride dresses. They are called lehenga or gopi dress.

*Rajasthan is full of wealthy and opulent vivahas with typical local customs and folk music. In the mangal pera rite, the couple circumambulates the yajna fire four times, aiming for marriage blessings based on moksa, kama, artha, and dharma pillars. Generally, it’s about awareness, to see marriage as a spiritual duty, where money is needed to fulfill material needs and emotional desires. By following these principles, the couple can attain moksa, a liberation. The vaisnavas, however, choose to serve the guru and the Lord to please Them. Their goal is to stop samsara and be delivered by going into the spiritual world, the afterlife. In Rajasthan, there is the marvari cura rite. It’s the bride’s uncle who places the bangles on her wrists. That’s another name for grha praves ritual. In this region, a rajput clan is known, vivah ghumar dance, etc. In the vara mala garlands exchange, the locals even exchange gold and flowers, of course. The bride would marry in a lehenga dress and the groom in safas cloths. Some still choose a sari and dhoti with a kurta. The ritual utha khana is common, where both take food before vivah. That’s Rajasthan.

*In (West) Bengal, in the satpadi rite, the wife, who is just about freshly wedded, will be taken in the circumambulation of her husband. Before this act, a bodhu boudhu song is sang. Next, the rite of planting a tree together comes. Both the bride and husband do it. It signifies the growth of their relationship. For the wife, there is another ceremony called bou bhat. For 16 days, she would dress in a completely new sari daily. Of course, these rituals take place only in rich gotras (families). The vaisnavas prefer to make modest weddings and give some daksina (charity) to their guru, Deities, and especially to the needy people of their local yatra (spiritual community). Bengal is popular for kal ratri ceremony. Both the wife and husband stay awake the whole night after the wedding. The guidance of an elder authority performs this. Similar to anna prasana samskara, there is a rite in Bengal, a special meal for the groom and bride prior to the wedding.  Ash-throwing is yet another local custom meant to promote positivity and luck. It makes people playful and feel fun.

*In Assam, famous for the uncommon rite of banger biye, wild frogs wedding to please Varuna, the demigod of waters.

*Ghar bhaisna is called a rite in the Jat community. It’s a post-vivah ritual. The new wife is officially accepted and most welcomed in her new home, husband’s, or his family.

*The Nair community (Nayar) is famous for talliketu. Ketu is a knotted holy and sacred thread that is placed on a plate. Afterward, the thread is given around the wife’s neck by her husband. Their clothes will be soon after knotted as well.

*Gujarat is another Indian region known for its wealth and good food. Gatta represents thali, a golden or silver plate full of gifts. The artistic mehendi application is very famous. The rokhiyo rite is exchanging rings. Local custom is also Gujarat garba dance during barat ritual. Gujarat has mixed influences from the Hindu, Jain, and Muslim cultures. The Jain culture is known for purity and non-violence rituals and ceremonies.

*In Maharastra, the main attention goes to Ganes puja and mandap seva (vivah canopy). Mangal dhund means that the bride hides the shoes of her groom. His friends must pay for it. Another ritual is sakharpuda (engagement). The asmabhisek is the ritual on the stone, representing the courage of the bride for life’s unpleasant events. Popular at the vivah is kalyan sankranti, in the magh month. It is beneficial to marry by lunar calculations. In Maharastra, the saint Tukaram was born in Dehu, near Pune. He was married and dedicated his life to his Lord Pandurang (Vithoba, Viththal, Visnu). Encouragement for potential difficulties in marriage could be Krsna’s solace, how dear are to Him persons in trouble, who remain calm and transcendental, firmly and with faith focused on Him.

• SOME OTHER REGIONAL VIVAH CUSTOMS IN THE NORTH, SPREAD IN MORE THAN ONE AREA, ARE:

*Pallikai telical, placing pots with grains and rice in front of bride’s house. It’s a wish for fertility.

*Lagna mandap, a popular and famous pavilion, was originally set up for vivahas.

* Pakadva (jabariya sadi) is kidnap of the girl to be married, in Assam, Manipura and Tripura. It reminds Svayamvar of Queen Rukmini, who was stolen by her future King Krsna, the Supreme Lord. Originally, the svayamvar means that the bride chooses her groom, or he kidnaps her from her parents.

*Pulon ki cadar is the rite where the future wife stays hidden behind a cadar before her husband can see her. Similar is the antarpat ritual, where a cloth is placed between the couple before they see one another. Subho dristi is the first look and glance of a couple on the vivah day. It’s all about the same rite, with various names and specific details.

*Cura ritual is the maternal uncle or aunt putting a set of bangles on the bride’s wrists.

*A very common ceremony in the North is thali, a full plate of gifts or other items for different wedding rites. Thali can locally include coconut, mirrors, vermilion, lamps, etc. In the North, it’s mainly her family who gives gifts to the groom’s family. However, generally, exchanging gifts is mutually beneficial.

*Santuran or sagan is, when most commonly, families mutually give presents to one another.

*Juta cupai is another name for the mentioned shoes hiding, groom’s friend pay for it, and bargain.

*In some regions, the groom puts vermilion tilak on the face of his bride. Actually, he paints it on her forehead.

*Asmarohanam is a ceremony for the wife. She steps on a stone, representing her steadiness and determination to overcome hard times in marriage.

*Pradaksin, mangal phera, and agniparinayana, are all like parikram around fire. It’s circumambulating the holy agni. The vaisnavas love to circumambulate the holy Tulasi plant on the wedding day. Srimati Tulasi Devi always wants to link sincere vaisnavas to Her Lord Krsna. She is a true shelter for all the devotees in this world and universe.

Vaisnavas also love to circumambulate the Holy Govardhana Hill as well, in Uttar Prades. By that, enormous spiritual benefit is attained. That Sacred Hill listens very carefully to the prayers of His devoted souls. He decreases suffering and gives happiness, and spiritual desires come through.

*Very popular Northern customs are some more, such as: fire yajnas or homas (havan), pujas, aratik, lagan (rings exchange), Deity abhisek, seva, Vedic mantras: Sita Ram, Hare Krsna, Om, etc.

• SOUTHERN VIVAHA DAY, LOCAL RITES

Some areas of Southern India geographically include Visakhpatnam, Bengaluru, Telangana, Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka, Andhra Prades, etc. The main cities are Koci, Coimbatore, Hyderabad, Chennai, Bangalore, Madurai, etc.

Generally, the wedding rituals in the South (compared to the North) tend to be shorter considering time and simpler regarding decorations.

The pre-engagement rite carries many synonyms such as roka, vagdan, vakdanam, vak danam, tirandu, niscaya tamulam, etc.

Next is an engagement (sagai, tilak, cunni cadan): music, singing, and sweets. A day prior to the vivaha day, all gather for two ceremonies in two different homes. In the bride’s home, it’s mehandi  rite, an artist paints the future wife. Afterward, there comes sangit, celebrating tomorrow’s occasion. This is going on in her parents’s house. In the house of the groom’s parents, similar festivities take place. First, turmeric paste application, afterward sangit party.

• VIVAHA DAY RITUALS IN THE SOUTHERN PART

Most begin early in the morning. They are followed by prayers, visiting a nearby temple, worshipping the home deities, etc.

*Vivaha in the South would embrace the rite called pandakkal muhurtam. That is praying to Sri Krsna, Deities, for asirvad (blessings).

*Next choice might be worship of Ganes, the best servitor of Sri Nrsimha. They remove difficulties in one’s life.

*When the future wife and husband ask and get airvadh from married females, then the next day, the vivaha samskara and life will succeed.

• The Kasi yatra rite is mainly very enjoyable. Her father is running after the groom to convince Him to marry his daughter. Because she has all the qualifications needed to become a wife. In Telugu, Kannada, Tamil, and Karnataka, the uncle overtakes this father’s role. The uncle brings the groom to his niece so both can marry now. Usually, the groom agrees to marry.

• The vara preksanam is a rite when the groom and his family visit the bride at the house of her parents. They all continue to the street, where there are many lamps smelling incense, flowers, etc. The procession is filled with many decorations, a jolly atmosphere, singing, traditional instruments, local music, local sweets, etc. They all proceed to the thalam, the place of the wedding. Some call it a ceremonial vivah platform or canopy.

• Kanyadan or niscayathartham (pratigya, nirnayam): It’s an engagement rite. Her father (of the future wife) leaves the daughter in the custody of her future husband. There is a mangalya dharan, (thali) plates, wedded couple, gifting one another.

• Next comes the varamala (jaimala, malai matram/matral) flower garland exchange. In some regions, there is also a bead necklace exchange. Or it’s about thambulam, the exchange of plates with gifts.

*People in the South take great care of muhurtam, finding the auspicious time for vivah. Noticeable is madhuparka, Fresh wife’s father feeds his new son-in-law with maha prasad, yogurt, and honey. Then the priest prepares homa, the holy fire. The following rite is panigrahan (pani grahanam), when the groom takes the hand of his beloved »only one«. Now, mangalya dharanam (mangalyam sthapana) comes. Through mantras, the husband is putting the holy thread around the wife. It can be accompanied by kirtan and customary nadasvaram instrument. It reminds me of a trumpet.

• The saptapadi rite is sometimes linked to the grinding stone (ammi midhithal) to overcome marriage obstacles. The sindur aksata or pellikuthuru ritual is performed. The rice mixed with turmeric paste is finally put into the hair of a wife.

• The ceremony unjal or swinging of both wife and husband is a very specific ritual. Reminding everybody about Radha Krsna Lila and Their Yhulan Yatra swinging ceremony.

It’s very auspicious when vaisnavas in the South execute the rites with Vedic mantras and spiritual sankalpa to the Divine and one another, of course.

• Asirvad is the last official ceremony. Assembled guests throw items like rice and many flowers on the wedded ones. It’s like a rain of blessings. Afterward, it’s time for a unique dance, the most traditional bharatnatyam. After the dance, a feast and entertainment might begin for all the guests gathered.

• Some couples decide to make a few post-wedding rituals like pacai thalikettu kalyanam (false wedding) to get humor into the celebration. The last ceremonies would be vidai and grah praves.

The wife takes farewell from her parents, as she proceeds to her husband’s family, where she enters her new home. The rest of the day and night are dedicated to having a good time with gathered family and friends. Jai vivah.

• Some more local customs at the forefront of vivahas in the Southern part follow.

Andhra and Telangana, there they have a pellikuturu (pellikoduku) rite. The couple, actually both separately in their primarily separated houses of parents, are bathed (purified). The fluid is mixed with oils, vermillion, milk, and flour.

In Andhra, Prades is another specific rite called the uttarapriya ritual. There, the bride gets to know his groom’s family in an opulent and magnanimous manner.

In Telugu vivah, there are a few specifics:

• The talambralu plate with rice, beads, and plastic balls. The couple showers one another with these items in wide, colorful varieties. It’s a similar ritual to throwing rice and flowers.
• The pradhanam is a ceremony where a golden ring is hidden in a pot with milk and water. Both are trying to find the ring in the pot.
• The jiraka belam ritual is done before mangalsutra. Both spread a paste of cumin and jaggery (gur) on their heads at an auspicious time.
• Ganes and Gauri puja are spread all over the country, also in Telugu tradition.
• Yet another difference in Telugu rites is the Kasi play. Here, the bride’s brother helps their father to persuade the leaving groom to turn back to a vivah and marry his sister, the bride.

The Tamil Nadu has numerous local designations for vivah rites. The panda kal muhurtam ritual happens one day before vivah. Parents pray to home deities, for the benefit of married children. Local name for vivah is kalyanam or thirumanam. It’s performed in the temple or pandal. The mandapam rite is done by the bride’s father, who is washing the groom’s feet with vermilion mix. Along goes haldi or turmeric paste. It is spread over both during the mangala bath (snanam). This task is the responsibility of married women. Sometimes, the vermilion vadhai rite carries a ritual of the bride’s mother putting turmeric on the son-in-law’s face. After that, the young wife does Gauri puja. Then garlands exchange follows, swinging, next married women feed both, the fresh wife and her husband, with bananas and milk. When the groom bonds the thali necklace, his sister fixes it on his wife. It’s very encouraging when other family members play a loving role during the vivah. Special prasad feast is the dessert of each vivah in Tamil Nadu, of course.

The Kannada region has a typical local custom of decorated cloth rite. It’s a special cadar like thing. The wedded ones are not allowed to see one another at the beginning of vivah until this wealthy cadar is removed. Very popular is the groom’s pada puja (feet bath), which has opulent flower garlanding. It all proceeds by regular rites such as kanyadan, satpadi, and thali. Very touching is their star watching. The concluding party is based on vegetarian food, with many local sweets and music.

In Karnataka, Telugu, and Tamil, the niscaya tamulam is the name for the engagement rite. Both parental families (sides, parties) exchange betel leaves and gifts. In this area, the unique cooper dishes are full of water, and they put coconut on top. This copper pot custom is conducted in both houses separately. This ritual commemorates the sign of a coming wedding for neighbors as well.

Karnataka is very detailed about the sat phere ceremony. Another exclusive rite there is bhara. The new wife’s mother gives a huge basket of gifts (also jewelry) to the new husband’s family. Last, it’s the niscaya tamulam custom, which is very specific in Karnataka. The list can be continued endlessly.

Kerala is famous for padi praves, performed with smelly exotic flowers, when both wedded ones enter their new home together. The pucudal is yet another special ceremony in Kerala. Her own family gives her new garments, and she is the future wife (bride).

Below are listed some main and common vivah rituals in all areas of South India:

*The paligai is a pot with garden soil, worshipped for procreation desire to be fulfilled.

*The nandi puja to demigod Siva and his bull is generally spread. The vaisnavas pray to Siva, a pure Lord’s devotee, to help them become humble in the service of the guru and the Lord. Siva is the most expert surgeon who can remove pride and false ego on the path of Bhakti so that one can fully surrender to Lord Krsna.

*The laja homa is another sibling vivah occasion, because the bride’s brother gives her grains in her hands, she throws them in the sacrificail fire.

*The purohit (monk, priest, pandit) gets asanas for all included in the homa yajna. Typical for the South vivah are exalted seats (ardhasanas), especially for the groom, who is nearly like a king.

*The kulcar is honoring family deities. The kuldevata puja is for male deities. The kuldevi puja is for female deities.

*The gau dan ritual is seldom and rare. It means to donate a cow as a wedding present to brahmanas, vaisnavas, or needy people.

*The salanakayana is yet another name for kanyadan when a father places his daughter to the groom.

*Alankara is a rite with many bright ornaments, which fully decorate the bride with many special jewelry, decorations, flowers, make-up, etc.

*The arundhati darsan and vasistha gazing is the evening rite, where the couple gets a few private moments and asks blessings of the demigods. The vaisnavas prefer to choose the dhruva loka.

*The panala vilakku (oil lamp) rite is similar to the ritual with pot and cocconut, or bambu stick in the north. They all represent a sign in front of each house that a vivah (wedding) is about to happen. It means that vivah preparations have started. Everybody puts lots of hope into the future to become bright.

*The sagai (engagement) rite has its gold coins exchanged in some local customs.

*The custom of manglik dosa is unusual. It’s meant for a person with dark karma. That person will be first married to a pipal tree (or banana tree, or a clay pot) to diminish unfavorable karma and to increase better karmic influences of planet Mars. Also, twins should first marry a tree.

• HISTORY OF VEDIC VIVAHA CEREMONIES CHANGING IN DUE TIME

From time immemorial, the samovar vivah ceremonies were practiced in the past. That’s how Ram got Sita, Arjuna won the Draupadi, Krsna kidnapped Rukmini, Kardama Muni married Devahuti, Santanu married Ganga Devi, Sankhacuda wedded Tulasi Devi, Nityananda married Jahnava and Vasudha, Gauranga has chosen Laksmipriya, after her passing, He remarried Visnupriya. Many more examples can be found in the sastra.

Main vaisnava acaryas were married: Ramanuja, Madhva, Vallabha, Rasikananda, Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Srila Prabhupada, etc.

The ritual vivah might have changed in due time, through various cultures mixing in one place, past wars and fights between different religions, due to modern technology influences, etc.

However, there is one constant about wedding ceremonies. They are clearly described in sastra, the Vedic scriptures like Manusamhita, various Dharmasastras, Mahabharata, Ramayana, Bhagavad-gita, Puranas like Srimad-Bhagavatam, Upanisadas, etc.

Sincere and serious vaisnavas and devotees have always followed the sastra and are very focused and careful. They still do so.

The main manual for vaisnava wedding ceremonies remains the book of Srila Gopala Bhatta Gosvami. It’s called Sat-Kriya-Sara-Dipika. There are also some modern manuals showing up.

But for true vaisnavas, classical Vedic sastra remains a spiritual law for bringing theory into practice.

And many married couples have experienced in marital life that the wedding is not only about love.

Marriage also brings many sacrifices for the spouse and children, as well as earning money. Even if it is difficult sometimes, it should not be given up, as people used to say.

• SUMMARY

This article explored wedding traditions in India, their history, and local differences, from the Vedic perspective of sanatana-dharma.

In the old times, a traditional Indian wedding would last for half a month. Modern time adaptations of wedding rituals take 2-3 days.

The article compiles and showcases different local vivaha ceremonies of modern Bharatavarsa on North-South distinction.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, it’s beneficial if parents or relatives choose a spouse for their child. That’s in prearranged marriages (vaivahika). Srila Prabhupada described it in Bhagavat. Puran. SB.3.22.9.

Finally, if you wish, you can contemplate Hindu-Vedic formulas for a successful marital existence.

Generally, people’s pronouns convey messages such as,

»By sharing joy with a beloved one, the happiness doubles.

When sharing feelings of suffering with somebody, the misery is reduced to half.

For the vaisnavas, sharing happiness and distress with Bhagavan-centered married life results in relief and a spiritual dimension. Consequently, the joy exceeds all expectations and goes even beyond, reaching the spiritual realm.«

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